I’m determined to get a blog post up today, so I thought I’d talk a little about writing. With the arrival of summer comes an increase in meetings for my writing group. There always seems to be so much to discuss & try to undertake; an hour and a half seems like hardly enough time to get everything done. More & more, I wonder if I should try to do this full-time, whether that means trying to do a class through Parks & Rec or attempting to open a writer’s space of my own. The ideas are wonderful to consider but I’m nervous about moving forward with it. Partially because it would mean actually demanding that I get paid to do this & I still get shaky thinking about having to value myself & my work. Even crocheting scarves for people & asking them for X amount in payment is weird & brings back all sorts of boundary issues that make me squirm. But, now is as good a time as any, I suppose. I’m not going to get less shy about it until I test the waters.
I’ve also started reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It was incredibly popular when I was working at Borders in the long ago & the far away & I’m just now getting into it. I really appreciate the morning pages exercise. Even if I never get past the 2nd chapter of the book, it’s given me the flexibility to sit with my thoughts for 40 minutes & just get everything out of my head. As someone who usually wakes up anxious, the three-page internal monologue purging helps me focus & makes me feel ready to deal with whatever for the rest of the day. I’ve logically known that just sitting & writing can help improve my mood, but these focused pages have helped me trust that this is something that helps me for the better. I haven’t totally gotten the schedule down, but I try to do what I can.
Anyway, I’m packing today & my study is slowing filling up with boxes. For now, I can still get to a few notebooks, but all of my writing books have been boxed up & I have to make do with what I have. But, that’s the best impetus, right? Necessity, the mother of invention? I hope so. . .