Where’s AJ Benza when you need him? You remember when he had that show Mysteries and Scandals on E, right? At the end of each episode, he’d sign off by glaring into the camera and saying in his best tough-guy voice, “Fame–ain’t it a bitch.” Well, for the past two weeks, I’ve played a bunch of different versions of the line in my head to amuse myself.
See, two weeks ago, I finished the last of the cortisone that my doctor prescribed for me to treat a rash of poison ivy I’d picked up. The very next day, the withdrawal symptoms started: uncontrollable anxiety, panic & fear that made me shake, dry mouth & excessive thirst, loss of appetite, distorted sense of time and place. Who says you can’t fun on legal drugs?!
And so for two weeks, while I’ve fought my way through the withdrawal, I’ve done a number of things to keep my mind occupied. Like making appointments I’ve put off, picking up extra assignments for JRW, making hundreds of word lists, crafting–anything to keep my mind from collapsing under the weight of its own enhanced perception. As well as doing my best AJ Benza impersonations for myself:
Poison Ivy–ain’t it an itch?
Steroids–ain’t it a bitch?
Mentally falling apart for two weeks while that rash cleared up in a matter of days and ohmigod when is this going to stop?!?–am I cursed by a witch?
All joking aside, I’m getting better everyday and the really fascinating thing has been how meaningful the smallest things become when one isn’t feeling 100% themselves. When someone smiles at you or tells you you’ll be ok, it’s like a blessing. Your senses sharpen and you can smell and taste things you missed before. Music is more emotional. A long hot shower seems like a luxury.
Egyptian Cotton Towels–ain’t it rich?
Shut up, AJ, I won’t need your commentary for much longer.