I’m feeling possessive of my curtains. Paranoid might actually be a more accurate descriptor. We’re getting ready to move again in a few months & my anxiety has decided to fixate on whether or not we’ll be taking them with us to the new place.
I’m sure that sounds like a small petty thing; maybe it is. Let me explain it a little better. We moved around a lot when I was a kid—not military-family a lot but as my parents’ jobs & finances changed, we inevitably found a new place every 3-5 years. We never took the curtains with us & to this day, I don’t know why. Maybe they didn’t want to deal with the hassle of taking down the rods & hardware & putting it up at another place. Maybe there are super secret real estate arrangements that hinge on whether or not a family willingly gives up their window dressings. Maybe my parents have some heretofore unknown superstition about carrying draperies (& by extension bad luck) from one dwelling to another.
I don’t know & for the most part, it was just a thing I didn’t get to have a say in, like the moving. It didn’t really bother me until I got older, had a job, & was able to spend my own meager income on decorative things. We moved into one house where the owner had left behind her own drapes in some of the rooms. (Why?! What is the reasoning?) These were blackout drapes that were coated in cat fur near the top. I was working at a linens store at the time & I spent a couple of weeks looking at what I liked & comparing prices, before finally settling on green panels & long gauzy white swags. It would hardly make House Beautiful but I had ambitious dreams & a minimum wage budget, so I made it work.
A few years later, it was time to move again. And when I brought up how I was trying to figure out how to pack the curtains, my mom told me I couldn’t take them because, they weren’t included in the contract. HUGE fight followed: I’m screaming that I bought them with my own money & my mom yelling back that she’s not going back to the realtor to dicker over curtains.
When I finally moved out on my own, I didn’t take any curtains & lived in different rented places for seven years with just blinds & nothing else. And then, my husband & I moved to our current place & I loosened up a bit. There were no pre-existing blinds, the Target curtains we bought were flimsy & we had some drafts coming in through the windows, & I was learning how to sew. . . so I made curtains. Nothing too fancy, just repurposed sheets that were on sale but they made me happy & they were pretty. . . & now we’re getting ready to move again. And I don’t want to leave these behind too.
So I guess it’s time to grow up & ask why we always left the curtains behind. At the very least, I still have the cheapie Target curtains; I’d have no problem leaving those for strangers.